Halloween tool a Dud

This is an archived article and the information in the article may be outdated. Please look at the time stamp on the story to see when it was last updated.

Halloween is almost here!

I like Halloween.  I like it much the same way I like bus fumes and Tetanus shots.

Something about kids demanding candy from me, AND THEY ARE NOT GETTING MY ROLOS, while scrolling through Facebook.

It goes something like this…

(scroll…scroll...scroll…scroll) “Hmm…Yeah. Like Trick or Treat dud. I hope you got something good. Your neighbor just gave us Zero bars and that is lame.”

And that is the third graders.

It’s at that point I give them a pull-top serving of canned corn.

Giving pull-top can of corn is lame, but the look on their little Halloween faces is worth it and makes strange children coming to my house which this year is on a Saturday worth it.

Many people carve pumpkins every year for Halloween.  They carve pumpkins because I guess if they carved a roast and left it outside people would think they are nuts. The Labradoodle across the street would like that but the neighbors probably wouldn’t.

What the heck is a Labradoodle anyway?  Whose idea was that? Maybe a couple of guys in vet school were partying one night and thought 'wouldn’t it be funny if a Labrador and a Poodle had a weekend together?'

But, I digress...

We bought this Pumpkin Masters Power Saw Carving Tool for $8.99. That was $8.74 more than it was worth.

It claims to be safer than kitchen knives when it comes to carving pumpkins.

The blade came out when we tested it after about 3 seconds of use.

After wrestling with it to carve a pumpkin for about ten minutes, I got a big knife and finished the pumpkin in about three minutes.

The Pumpkin Masters Power Saw Carving Tool, we rate a Dud.  If you had a different experience with this fine piece of equipment, please email me.  Or call. Or come to my house on Halloween with the little troll kids who will laugh at me giving them Zero Bars.

Kids these days…